A growing edge for my personal and leadership journey has revolved around the benefits of building and maintaining a positive mindset. At various points in time, my leadership journey has benefited from any number of leadership assessments that have helped me identify opportunities for growth. I have certainly been exposed to a variety of thought leaders - through books or personal connection - that have helped me explore concepts such as emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and resilience. Perhaps ironically, as a coach/consultant/facilitator, the greatest insights on the power of a positive mindset is seeing how my leadership and organizational clients are challenged when they DON'T adopt a positive frame of reference but rather succumb to a host of "what if" scenarios that are decidedly negative in nature.
May this be the year you learn to believe in yourself...May this be the year you do not give up on who you were meant to be.
Brianna Wiest
In recent weeks I have had more than a few opportunities to work with individual leaders and teams as they navigate a range of negative experiences. Sometimes these experiences are real and tangible - legal action, less than ideal performance reviews, less than ideal organizational metrics, negative media coverage. More often than not, however, there is a lot more that we imagine might be happening behind the scenes or could possibly happen in the near future. We anticipate or borrow trouble or challenges that may not come. As a consequence, we can expend a lot of emotional, mental and physical energy on events that may never transpire. Even if they do transpire, we many find that the consequences of these events taking place is not as dire as we expected.
As the title of the blog notes, I am not suggesting that there is not value in preparation and anticipation. One certainly cannot lead self or others with wishful thinking, operating in blissful ignorance of potential issues that any competent leader would prepare for. However, I would have you question what balance you are living into with your day-to-day life - personal and professional. In the course of your day or week, do you note on balance that you are planning for and anticipating positive experiences or realities OR do you operate more in a space of tension, anxiety and even dread for what might come? Too often I see too much of the latter reality and as a consequence we exhaust ourselves by constant vigilance. This is not just a soft or touchy feely statement. Being in a constant state of vigilance starts to manifest in real, tangible and negative ways for you as a leader and with your team - increased heart rate and blood pressure, fatigue and exhaustion, lowered mental and physical resilience, impaired memory and emotional regulation, and a range of behavioral changes (e.g., jumpy, overreactions).
While we can value and appreciate maintaining a state of readiness - and our professional lives seem to reward situational awareness and strategic readiness - it is clear to me that we need to reset our mental dials to achieve far better balance with what is positively working for us now and what we could reasonably expect or create for ourselves in the future. Easier said than done? Yes. Sorry - no easy answer here! Most of us have spent years if not decades honing our survival instincts which mostly have to do with anticipating and responding to real or perceived threats. It will take disciplined thought and disciplined practice to help you balance yourself going forward. Here are some suggestions on furthering a positive mindset that will support your mental, emotional and physical wellbeing.
First, I would recommend starting your day with positive affirmations. This can take on a variety of forms but whatever your approach I personally would vouch for writing something for yourself on a daily basis. For the past couple of years, I have been diligent in journalling, writing something. Some days this exercise can be quite extensive while other days I find time pressures and other circumstances restrict my efforts. Regardless, I can say that I have rarely missed a day for quite some time. I work on the same key questions every day - What's ACTUALLY Happened (versus what I imagine has/will happen), How Am I Feeling (process what's going on for me, discover why, assess what it means to me), Identify What I NEED to do Today (helps me to feel in control of myself and right size what I can realistically get done), and, finally, What Am I Grateful For.
This last question is quite important, and I always start the answer to this question with being grateful for me. I have great skills, values, and qualities that have seen me through challenging times in the past, serve me well now and will be of service to me in the future. This exercise will fortify you against the slings and arrows of others who, for a variety of reasons, may be looking to bring you down a notch or two. While we have to be open to some learning from all these external forces we have to appreciate that very often the negatives being thrown our way reflect more on those doing the mudslinging than on us as human beings. It's lonely at the top! If you are a leader or a person of values, you can expect that as you seek to change things - organization, culture, systems - you are going to come up against resistance. That is part of good leadership, and it is part of life.
Second, and related to the lonely at the top perspective on leadership, make sure you cultivate and remain in touch with a professional and personal network. As I have often said, "our mind is a dangerous neighborhood to go into alone". We can conjure up a lot of shadows, demons and challenges for ourselves that don't hold up well in the light of the day. Use your network to right size reality.
Reminding ourselves to not be delusional about "facts" is fine. Appreciating that we have something to learn is also advisable. Again, I'm not talking about wearing rose-colored glasses and thinking that we are infallible or omnipotent. Evaluate what is happening and is being said but don't give someone or something more power over you than they deserve.
Third be conscious of how you are showing up for others whether that be the family you are a part of, the friends you associate with or the team you lead. Your presence and actions have impact. Your response to a situation is a big part of how that situation will evolve and resolve. Step positively into challenges, remind yourself that you have overcome challenges in the past, pay attention to what is happening for you and to you, and how aligned are your feelings and actions with your core values and beliefs. One of the biggest challenges in navigating real or perceived adversity is letting someone else knock you off your centre. This is why it is so critical to start each day with positive affirmations, reminding ourselves about who we are and what our positive vision for the future is.
Don't expect that others will change because of you intentionally and mindfully taking on a more positive mindset. In fact, you many find the behaviors of others ramping up in the short-term as they realize they are having less impact on you! Recognize this for what it is. Stay committed to your path. Don't spend too much time and energy swatting away the mosquitoes that will want to distract you from the power of yourself and your vision.
Create and keep a powerful vision for yourself. As a leader, do the same for your team. Draw energy and excitement from the good things happening for you now. Draw energy and excitement from the realization that there is so much more to be realized and experienced.
Leadership - and personal growth - is about self-discipline. Start changing your mindset. Start recognizing and building on the positive. It's all about leadership!
______________________________
Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
Executive Coach/Consultant
BreakPoint Solutions
gregh@breakpoint.solutions
780-918-0009
Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.