Ebbs and Flows - Chapter II?

In my last post I talked about some challenging news my wife and family received about her health: a breast cancer diagnosis. This came just in advance of our 12th wedding anniversary and, of course, in the throes of my latest and continuing Ironman preparations.

So the latest? After celebrating our anniversary with a stay in an Edmonton hotel - as adventurous as celebrations can get in the middle of a pandemic - we met with her oncoplastic surgeon to get further interpretation of what her diagnosis, treatment plan and prognosis was likely to be.  I have to say it is sobering to be in a room - staying largely silent - as a physician and your wife discuss surgical options ranging from lumpectomy to mastectomy, survival and satisfaction rates post-surgical intervention, how radiation and/or chemotherapy come into play and so on. It's more than surreal.  

However, what we arrived at was the intervention required was not only not life-threatening, but it was also (at this point) not life-altering either. It seems strange to say this given the short but challenging journey we were on up to that point, but the surgical and medical intervention required is quite limited and contained. That being said, we are still months away from conclusion, with surgery taking place in late May, followed by recovery, followed by a course of radiation. So still much for my wife to endure and still more worry for the family to navigate. Regardless, these are far better outcomes than could have occurred. And certainly a far better reality than that facing so many others who have faced - and lost - a battle with cancer.  

So much more different than the reality that faced Ronan Smyth and his family.  

For several weeks I could start to feel the real powerlessness and fear that Ronan's family must have faced when they got his cancer diagnosis. For them it was clear relatively soon that there was no potential for a positive outcome.  Rather, they knew from the outset that time was limited. I held on to that fear for only a few weeks. It was enough.  

My wife and I have had some pretty deep discussions in the past several weeks. All the what-if scenarios.  How long this journey to health might take her. What that might mean for the whole family during that time. What we would do to prepare if, should it happen, that she wouldn't be in our lives sometime in the future.  How would I manage as a single parent - again. A lot of future surfing and most of it not of the positive kind.

Ronan and his family faced the same situation.  While Ronan got the cancer diagnosis, his family carried the hit, the burden, the worry, and the anxiety of losing a son and a brother. And there was to be no miracle cure.  There was every reason to ponder the future to come after Ronan's passing.  

Ronan didn't give into despair - or at least not entirely. I am absolutely certain that denial, anger, sadness, anxiety, and a host of other emotions turned up for Ronan and his family on a regular basis.  But he also adopted a mantra of Why Not? After being told of his diagnosis, he started - as his parents would call it - a crazy list. He was intent on living life to the fullest during the time left to him and pursued the completion of his list with vengeance. In that he was supported not only by his family, but also by a larger community, including people he had never met. This commitment to living led him to meet his hockey hero Carey Price, flip the coin at the beginning of an Eskimos game, and leap out of plane for not one but two skydiving adventures! More courage and bravado than I!  

On Ronan's first jump, I was told he feared nothing. He asked his tandem partner for barrel rolls and anything that could be thrown at him. On the next jump he wanted to take the leap going backward! And he was accommodated!  

Ronan's mother tells me he rarely complained about his fate.  Make no mistake, there were discussions about why me, but this perspective was significantly overshadowed by his determination to see what he could accomplish in the time remaining to him. He decided to challenge his food with all kinds of different foods. He spent his savings enjoying the life left to him and looking to experience all that he could. He became a fearless adrenaline junky, riding in fast cars and motorcycles. And not only did he do this for himself, he was also able to convince other family and friends to join him in his adventures. He convinced them to share in his Why Not adventures! Ronan's journey served as a reminder that life is precious and needs to be cherished every day.  

Ronan's journey continues to inspire my own Why Not and What If fundraising and Ironman challenge.  As does my wife's more hopeful and optimistic cancer journey.  

Ironman Canada is now four months away.  My fundraising goal is $90,000 away from completion.  

F#ck cancer.  

Home - Greg Hadubiak Cops for Cancer Ironteam (akaraisin.com)

Are you with me?

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.

Ebbs and Flows

I often - or I should say always? - watch videos of past Ironman Kona championships while I do my indoor bike training. This obviously takes place primarily during my winter training schedule. Aside from being a very fair-weather athlete, it affords me the opportunity to be inspired by the stories that play out on this canvas both for the professional and age-group athletes, showcasing their talents and determination for all to see.   

One comment or phrase that sticks with me at these times is something along the lines of how much has to go right for an athlete on the day of any particular event. You can never guarantee perfect health on race day, or that you won't have some mechanical malfunction to contend with, or that you won't experience adverse weather conditions to cope with. All of these and more can come at you and test your reserves and mental fortitude. I can attest to several such circumstances in my time in competition, including torrential downpours and hailstorms, a slipped bike chain while climbing a hill, and getting kicked in the head during the swim.  

The same reality of ebbs and flows come at you in training and in the life leading up to any given race.  What has been demonstrated to me since I started in this Ironman world in 2008 is there is no perfect path in training, no year when there has not been bumps along the way. For age-groupers like myself, this means juggling the demands of life outside of Ironman. Most of us have to work to live into a chance to participate in an Ironman or to afford the cost of equipment and registration fees. Work and family obligations will come first for us non-professionals. Regardless of effort or desire, Ironman performance is not our primary or sole commitment.  

This year and last - 2020 and 2021 - have tested this balancing act like never before and have reminded me of the realities and challenges of keeping focused on a goal. When I restarted this journey to Ironman in late 2019 and early 2020, no one would have imagined the impact a global pandemic would have on the plans of mice and men. In February 2020, I made a commitment to raise funds and awareness in support of the Kids With Cancer Society, DIPG and Ronan Smyth. And even as COVID continued to take hold of our lives in 2020, I remained focused on my goals and was probably in my best shape since my 20s.  Then, of course, Ironman Canada 2020 was cancelled and my focus shifted to 2021.

These past few weeks have continued to throw curveballs at me, both good and bad, as I recommit to my goals. We've had a reasonable start to spring here in Edmonton that has allowed me to get outside on my bike earlier than I have done in many years prior - up until this weekend when we were hit by a crazy blizzard. That reality will have me back on the wind trainer again for at least a few more days.  Run training has similarly being going along well and I was pleased with the volume of running that I was getting in - up until I broke one of my toes in a simple household accident! So moving a bit more gingerly in the short-term. I was also quite pleased with my progress and stamina in the pool - up until the COVID resurgence in our third wave caused our facility to close yet again. So back to doing some strength and core training to stimulate those swim muscles.

On the bigger stage of life, I was extraordinarily happy to see my oldest daughter get her first COVID vaccine (access given due to underlying chronic health condition)! This follows on my wife's successful vaccination - with full two doses - earlier in March because of her healthcare role. Others in my extended family are also getting or are scheduled for doses, and I am scheduled for the end of April. Relief is starting to cross my furrowed brow.

But life has decided to throw another curveball at me, laced with irony. Being a member of the Cops for Cancer Ironteam since 2008 and now strongly committed to raising $100,000 for the Kids With Cancer Society since last year, my family finds that cancer has decided to make things even more personal.  Earlier this month, my wife received a diagnosis of breast cancer. She is in the very early days of this journey and we are both grateful the cancer was caught early. We are only now beginning to understand the choices before us and won't have anything close to clarity on treatment plan for several more weeks.  As you can imagine, the emotional and mental stress for her - and for her family - has been very much been about ebbs and flows. Trying to not future surf, presume the worst, remain optimistic, and yet also having those moments of anxiety and fear that test our energy.

In many respects, I believe this reality will also bring me closer to appreciating what Ronan's family had to experience and endure as they navigated through a much harsher reality for their son - having inoperable brain cancer, with no hope of recovery, simply looking for ways to make the most of the time remaining to them. And they did just that. They lived life to the fullest possible with the mantra that Ronan came to take on - and which I share - of Why Not!  There is no doubt that Ronan and his family experienced many ebbs and flows with what cancer threw at him and at them.  

The reality is we have no say in what life throws at us - broken toe, weather, COVID, cancer diagnosis.  We continue to have a choice as to how we will respond to these ebbs and flows.  We can still live with determination and purpose.  

Ironman Canada is just over four months away.  My fundraising goal is $90,000 away from completion.  My life and my commitment will be challenged by my wife's cancer diagnosis but it shall not define us.  

F#ck cancer.  

Home - Greg Hadubiak Cops for Cancer Ironteam (akaraisin.com)

Are you with me?

______________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.