September 21, 2024, is World Gratitude Day. The intent of the event is to help individuals, organizations, and society at large to celebrate the broad meaning of gratitude. More specifically, it has become increasingly apparent that there are significant benefits of setting aside time and otherwise being conscious of all that is good in our lives. In my past leadership roles and in my current role as executive coach, I have often found that the vast majority of us seem to fixate on all the things we believe we have not attended to, have not gotten right, or otherwise ruminate on all that has gone wrong or could go wrong. From personal experience I can certainly say that this is a highly de-energizing and demotivating place to be.
In today's world we are also often inundated with all the worst news the world has to offer - conflict in the Middle East, war in Ukraine, polarization of politics in western democracies, natural disasters with significant loss of life and property, crime in our own towns and neighborhoods, and too many other challenges than can be listed. All of these situations can impose a heavy burden on our mind, body, and soul, not to mention anything that hits us on a more personal level - loss of loved ones, day-to-day work challenges, financial challenges. Where is the room for gratitude? And does gratitude even feel like the right thing to think about given what I have already said?
I hope we can all start to say a resounding "YES" to this last question. I can certainly appreciate - and am living - a whole range of challenges that parallel what has been noted above. Not least of what has transpired for me is the sudden loss of my mother earlier this year. And I certainly would not have found a place to express gratitude for many months of 2023 and through much of 2024. Indeed, it was not until the middle of 2024 that I said, "Physician (or coach) heal thyself". At the time I started journalling and asking, amongst other questions, "What am I grateful for?"
I try to answer this question on a daily basis. The exercise takes no more than 30 minutes and on some days it feels harder to engage in the practice than others. Events of the previous day often weigh heavily on my mind, but I believe it's on those days that this exercise is the most important to engage with and complete. It's on these days in particular that I gain the greatest benefit from appreciating what I have working for me versus what I might be thinking is working against me.
How do I answer this gratitude question? For the most part, I would say there are some very consistent entries in my journal. Those answers include gratitude for:
- My daughters. And in the case of my oldest daughter, her boyfriend. I am grateful for the time and role I can play in their lives and for the appreciation they (sometimes) extend back to me.
- My friends and family. In the past year, these people have had an extraordinarily powerful supporting role through challenging times for me. In fact, in my journal, I document them as my community therapists.
- Key people where I can sometimes get very specific with naming certain people based on what they have done for me in support of me in the previous 24 hours or more.
- The good health I still generally enjoy. There are certainly days that I find myself more fatigued than I would like, suffering from a few more aches and pains as I age, and discovering that I have somehow twisted my back in my sleep! Overall, however, nearing age 60, I am still capable of doing significant physical labour and can still describe myself as reasonably mentally agile :).
- My personal and business reputation. People still reach out to me in a variety of ways because of how I have shown up with them, supported them, and otherwise encouraged them in their own good and bad times. They have reinforced through their words and actions that the qualities I aspire to live to are in fact experienced by them in their interactions with me.
- My parents. Despite my dad passing in 2019 and my mom earlier this year, I have a strong sense that they are still looking out for their son through his trials and tribulations, while also rejoicing in his victories as they happen.
- My power to choose. I am able to do a lot as I choose to. I am not powerless. I am not restricted as so many others may be. I can engage in physical activity. I can travel. I can enjoy experiences. I can make things happen.
One of the final things that I try to express gratitude for is myself. In truth, this is where I actually start my gratitude entry every time. Is that egotistical? Perhaps. More importantly though, it is a place to ensure that despite whatever challenges I might be facing or attacks I might feel that I am under, I try to ground myself in the reality of who I am and what I have accomplished. I don't often go into a lot of detail here - which might be a mistake - but a simple entry can bring me back to appreciating my core values of integrity, courage, creativity, collaboration, and fun. The simple entry can remind me of the adversity I have overcome. The simple entry can remind me of what I have accomplished as a leader in my past roles and as an entrepreneur/consultant/coach. These FACTS can act as a powerful counterpoint to other PERCEPTIONS rattling around my brain. As I have said before, our minds are a dangerous neighborhood to go into alone. Reminding myself of the FACTS of my life is like turning on a light in a dark room. I get to see things for what they really are.
Does this exercise mean that I don't sometimes worry about my business, the expenses, how my retirement fund is shaping up (or not)? Absolutely. But more often than not, I now find myself more worried about the experiences I might be denying myself in the moment and what greatness still awaits me.
What can you do on September 21, 2024, to live into gratitude? What can you do every day after that to live with more gratitude.
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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC