In past posts I have talked about quiet quitting and the great resignation. The perspective I've taken has focused on what organizations could do/might do to address the realities of the evolving job market and labor force. What I haven't done is look to advise individuals - leaders or staff - in why they might choose to leave an organization. Nor have I actively encouraged resignation or a change of scenery. Why change tactics now? Well, the topic resonates more in the past few weeks as several of my acquaintances have realized that their commitment to a current employer is not being reciprocated OR, in some cases, they have been shown the door after years of dedicated and quality service. While many organizations often tout a perspective that human resources are the organization's greatest asset, their actions often drown out stated commitments.
These recent experiences have also caused me to reflect back on my own re-introduction to the labour force back in 2012 (and the start of my coaching/consulting career). I've gained a lot of experience and perspective over the past dozen years, not the least of which is informed by my own Core Strengths Assessment results. What particularly resonates for me are my Overdone Strengths - things I do when things are not going well for me, perhaps when anxious or in some form of conflict, but efforts I engage in with the hope/expectation of still producing a positive outcome. My top three Overdone Strengths seem to particularly resonate:
Self-Sacrificing: being so supportive that you give up your own interests and wishes for others
Blind: being so loyal that you overlook or ignore problems with plans or people
Stubborn: being so persevering that you justify your course of action despite others' views or preferences
I could go on, but the listing of the top three Overdone Strengths suggest to me (in retrospect) that I continued to invest far too much into a job and an organization when all objective evidence was suggesting that my efforts were in support of a losing battle. I failed to appreciate that my priorities were no longer (if they ever were) the organization's priorities.
In the past I have suggested that - as individuals and leaders - we have to engage in appropriately selfish behaviour. The context for those previous posts related to the need to continuously invest in oneself and take time to recharge one's batteries. My advice in this post is perhaps more bold and assertive on YOUR BEHALF. Don't make the same mistakes that I did in assuming that your organization or your leader is as committed to your personal success or the same goals/values as you are. Be vigorously objective in always assessing whether your needs and priorities are really being met or stand a chance of being met. My specific advice - and thoughts to continuously review for yourself on a regular basis - is as follows:
One: Make Yourself and Your Needs a Priority. This first presumes that you have actually thought about and articulated/documented what is important to you and what your life/career priorities are. By doing this you can continually evaluate current and future fit with an employer. You may also find by this articulation that you draw new opportunities to yourself.
Two: Recognize When You Are Being Used (Rather than Valued). Objectively assess how often your needs and expectations are balanced against your leader's needs and expectations. If there is a decided imbalance at play and you continue to defer to the "big picture" at your expense, I suspect you will increasingly feel disengaged and de-energized.
Three: Document Your Value. In many of my coaching engagements, one of the key approaches that helps an individual take on new challenges is owning their strengths and accomplishments. While we easily identify our perceived weaknesses, we rarely put as much emphasis on what we are skilled at. We might be tackling imposter syndrome here or just simply helping you own the possibilities beyond your current state of affairs. If you don't see your strengths and possibilities being leveraged in the current state, it might be time to move on.
Four: Invest Energy to Get Energy. Exhaustion at the end of the day should also be evaluated as a sign of the need to move on. If your exhaustion seems to arise out of feelings of being frustrated, disrespected, or defeated, then it's time to consider a move. If energy invested leaves you feeling exhausted from the effort but fulfilled and inspired, then hope remains. Pay attention to what your heart, mind, body, and soul are telling you.
Five: Manage Nostalgia. It can be tough to move on, especially if there have been some good times and major accomplishments in your past. This experience directly relates to the feelings of loyalty and blindness that I noted for myself earlier. Our past experiences can cloud our judgement about the current and expected state of affairs. Challenge yourself to objectively test current reality.
Six: Envision a Positive Future. The phrase "better the devil you know" comes to mind here as you consider a new future and possibilities. Paradoxically, I believe I was lucky in being involuntarily introduced to the marketplace. While my choice to move into consulting and then coaching was not certain, I'm pretty confident that I would have been far more hesitant to chart a dramatically different path if not pushed forward. Looking back it was clear that I lived in a lot of pain for several years and that my hesitancy to shift was based on lack of clarity of future success. Upon reflection I can honestly say - Trust Yourself and Own your Strengths. You are capable of more and deserve the best.
Seven: Remain Flexible and Seek Out Allies. Keep a vision in front of you and trust in better. However, be prepared that its actual form and timing may not proceed in as linear a fashion as you might hope. In similar fashion, don't expect that yours can be or should be a solo journey. Be prepared to learn from others and be prepared to be helped by others - practice vulnerability and humility in the same way that you likely started your career so many years ago.
Eight: Be Clear About What You Want. This tactic might be informed by previous suggestions, but I want to remind you that as you consider the next opportunities, don't be shy about being clear about what your are looking for or need from the next role. Don't settle. You don't have to. Look for the next thing that is truly your next best thing. Your prospective boss or organization certainly wants the best fit - you should apply the same lens to them.
Nine: Be Patiently Impatient. Success and change may take time. Prepare for that. Try to find a way to persevere through change. Develop and foster new networks and new opportunities. Don't be afraid to experiment. Keep moving forward while you evaluate. I have often noted that it took me at least a couple of years to find my stride in my new career and not a small amount of success came from dogged determination (and perhaps not a little masochistic behaviour!). Keep putting yourself out there on the foundations of your strengths, vision, and value.
Ten: Be High Maintenance. What do I mean by that!? This might in fact be a summary of all that I have said before. Be clear about what you are looking for and keep holding others (leaders, organizations) to that standard. As already noted, you deserve the best. Don't settle. Be bold and be confident. Look for an opportunity that resonates with your strengths and values. Recognize that the contract you have entered into may change over time. If that becomes the case, make sure you rinse and repeat these 10 tactics.
I recognize that these "10 commandments" may seem like a tall order. However, at the end of the day, I believe that application of this advice will support not just your career success, but also your level of fulfillment with your life as a whole.
It's all about you. It's About Leadership. In this case, it's about self-leadership.
Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
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