Executive coaches are often called on to support leaders and teams achieve a better understanding of themselves as individuals and/or support some form of appreciative inquiry on team performance and team dynamics. Often, we are called to be or hold up a mirror to our clients. This can be accomplished in a variety of ways: standard coaching session focused on goals and information presented by the coachee/team supported by insights obtained by the coaching process; a range of individual and/or team-based assessments, some of which have a 360 degree focus to them; and possibly traditional evaluative processes that fall into the realm of human resource tools and performance development initiatives that we are all familiar with.
One of the most challenging aspects of this type of work is the degree of courage and honesty that any one individual or team approaches this introspective work with. In reality, all of us have a hard time getting a true image of ourselves by looking into the proverbial mirror - either through our own self-reflection, through an assessment tool, through feedback and even through coaching. What comes to mind for me as an executive coach, therefore, is the range of mirrors and the various distortions that are possible as we pass from one location to another in a funhouse.
The work that I do can see individuals being overly critical of themselves in their self-assessments, particularly when compared to any 360 feedback they may receive. More challenging, I can also see circumstances when one's own self-assessment presents an overinflated positive assessment of leadership skills and potential as compared to far less rosy results obtained from others.
The risk in individuals having a more negative view of themselves is they may not be fully stepping into their strengths thereby diminishing their potential positive impact to their benefit and that of their teams. There is so much more that can be achieved with a bit more self-appreciation and courage.
In the latter circumstance, when one's self-assessment is overinflated and doesn't match reality and results experienced by others, the challenge and risk can present in a number of ways. Will the potential blow to ego be too much for the individual to handle? Will the results be completely dismissed resulting in a lost opportunity to learn and grow? Will the results lead to a deterioration in relationships in the workplace or even beyond?
Leadership
requires humility to be open to what reality is, but it takes courage to unleash
the true power that comes from owning what is and what can be.
As with the funhouse mirror analogy noted, we can all make choices about what mirror we want to stand in front of and what reality we prefer.
In either circumstance above, the assessments or evaluations are never THE answer, nor do they provide direction as to next steps to take. This is where courage and honesty - supported by the coaching process - become instrumental in determining degree of action taken or success achieved.
One of the more interesting opportunities I believe a point-in-time assessment provides is to open a door to deeper discussion with an individual client or team. The harsh reality we might be exposed to might become the catalyst for needed change if we can summon the humility and courage to change. How do the current results compare to other feedback and patterns that may be informative or supportive to past information received (but perhaps previously dismissed)? Is this really the first time we are getting "bad news" about how we are perceived and/or are actually showing up?
Aside from the potentially distorted image we have to work through, and perhaps expanding on the mirror metaphor, what windows into the past might we need to look through? How can we learn from, but not repeat the patterns of the past that are getting in the way of our personal or team success? This is a tremendously hard task for many, particularly if, from an individual perspective, we are operating from a belief system that holds us back from owning our "facts". Do we believe a leader must always and only show strength? Do we believe a leader must never own up to opportunities for growth? Are we constantly plagued by self-doubt and, as a protection mechanism, must always blame others for our lack of advancement or success in our careers?
As a coach, consultant, and leader I have seen the reality of - negative - repeating patterns often. Leaders who have moved from role to role (and even from personal relationship to personal relationship), never having accepted that the reason they have been moved on (involuntarily in many cases) or have always remain frustrated in their "status" in their careers, is they have never been truly prepared to change and grow. They almost inevitably deny the information they are receiving on how they could be the authors of their own challenges. Other people just don't get them. They may even go so far as always and consistently blaming everyone else for the lack of progress, success, and recognition in their careers.
Coaches, mentors, and even friends can only do so much in holding up the proverbial mirror for these leaders or teams. As a coach, the adage that you can't work harder than your client parallels the well worn phrase that you can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink. Experience also tells me that some leaders will never want to face their past and current reality as objectively or as courageously as they need to.
All we can do as coaches - if we are truly to be in service to others - is to continue to be courageous ourselves, hold up a mirror that is as distortion free as possible, help our clients use assessments or data as windows into their past patterns and current situation, and even be prepared to be discarded as coaches when humility and courage to change are not present in our clients.
Objectivity, humility and courage. It's All About Leadership!
Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC
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