Bouncing Back - A Recipe?

The topics of resilience, trauma and post-traumatic growth have been subjects that I have pondered for many years now.  This focus was sharpened by my learning journey as a coach and a particular learning opportunity that exposed me to the concept of post-traumatic growth.  As I read the article, I was struck by the insights and parallels to my own journey starting with the sudden death of my wife in 2007 and the subsequent reinvention of myself from that point over the next few years.  Long story short, since that traumatic event I have:

• dramatically changed my physical status, losing and keeping off (on average) 35 pounds;
• successfully completed multiple athletic events including several marathons, a Goofy and a Dopey (ask me about that if you wish), two full Iroman triathlons, and have even combined marathon experiences with destination travel in Venice and Berlin;
• successfully launched a coaching/consulting business, leaping forward into an entrepreneurial venture after 25+ years in public sector leadership (that more often rewarded risk aversion vs risk taking); and,
• successfully overcome major life and societal events like COVID, economic downturns, and other significant, negative life events.

At the present time, I find myself navigating a number of dramatic changes in my personal and professional life that cause me again to reassess and refocus on the next part of my life journey.  In particular, I have been spending significant time digging into the concepts of trauma, narcissism, resilience, leadership, and recovery.  I will be exploring these topics for many months (years?) yet to come.  Most recently, I was introduced to the work of Linda Graham and her book Bouncing Back.  

In her work, Ms. Graham, presents the Five C's of Resilient Coping that help to rewire old dysfunctional patterns of behavior that can be attended to and work to help us build new neural circuity to increase our resilience.  I expect this will be helpful in my current journey.  But why might this be relevant to you within the context of work and leadership?  My belief is that all of us have been challenged in the course of our working lives in dealing with challenging situations, including co-workers and leaders.  If not, count your blessings while at the same time take something from the discussion that follows to prepare yourself for any future challenge you may face.  So, let's dig into Linda Graham's 5 C's.

First learn to remain calm in a crisis.  I would say a key distinguishing factor for leaders who excel and those who do not is this quality of balance and calmness.  In far too many circumstances I have seen leaders who not only fail to properly diagnose the root cause of an issue but in their drive to lead (or manage their own anxiety) they make matters worse by their rapid reaction.  Metaphorically speaking, they more often add gas to the fire rather than fix the presenting issue.  Our inherited mindset of flight, fight or freeze doesn't help us in most modern-day circumstances.  As a leader we are particularly tasked with slowing things down long enough to see an issue for what it is, understanding its significance, assessing risk, and potentially even deciding whether the issue is worthy of response.  Patience is a virtue to be cultivated!  Breathe, pause, and reflect before taking action. 

Second, focus on achieving clarity.  Obviously, this is very much related to the first point.  It's hard to achieve clarity when you have given into your first instincts and find yourself hip deep in alligators!  The benefit of the patience noted above is that you can not only see the situation for what it really is BUT also better appreciate how your past experiences have served or not served you in similar situations.  The more clarity you can achieve for yourself the better positioned you will be to implement a better response - including the option of no response!

Third, get help.  I have said before that leadership is a team sport.  While there is no shortage of challenge in admitting imperfection or showing vulnerability, a good leader takes full advantage of the full resources of the team that should be available to them.  Now when I say team I do so the broadest sense of that term.  These resources need not simply be any direct reports you might have.  Rather, there could be a range of people, information and systems that can help with a given scenario AND in helping you grow as a leader.  Their past/current work and life experience are assets to be leveraged.  Don't let pride, ego or fear get in the way of using other assets that could deliver a better decision and result for you.

Fourth, remind yourself of your current skills, competencies and experiences.  Even as a I wrote this blog today, I found myself discussing this concept with two of my existing coaching clients.  And this subject often comes up in my coaching practice in general, as I debrief leadership assessment results, and in strategic planning engagements.  We seem to be wired to think more in terms of our real or perceived weaknesses or gaps in skills versus truly owning our strengths and abilities.  We are not empty vessels and we need to remind ourselves that we have come through adversity before.  Tap into those experiences and existing skills as starting points for managing through the current challenge. 

Finally, we have nothing to fear but fear itself, right?  Find your courage.  Take the next first/best step forward.  I am fond of a couple of phrases that I started using several years ago when I was President of the Edmonton Chapter of the International Coach Federation - "Why Not?" and "What If?".  Look for possibilities.  Be creative.  Objectively evaluate risk.  Look back to bullet #3 and #4 for some objectivity and even inspiration.   

As and when you build calmness, clarity, connection, competence and courage you will build out your resilience.  In this respect, think of resilience and the 5 C's as muscles.  The more you can use these muscles the stronger you will become.  Moreover, as you use these tools you will also be modeling resilience for those around you.  

Resilience - It's All About Leadership!

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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.