Hope, Disillusionment and a Path Forward?

The proximate motivator for this post came out of a discussion with a colleague who recently voiced disillusionment with the reality of leadership that she has experienced over the last couple of years - and in more than one instance.  Suffice it to say that her experiences runs counter to everything both she and I WANT TO BELIEVE about what makes not only good but effective leadership. While we haven't discussed the topic at length I do believe that we share a common belief - or hope - that good leadership is empowering, visionary, compassionate and even vulnerable.  In contrast, good leadership is NOT characterized by narcissism, lack of transparency, lack of commitment to common good/others and similar qualities.

We believe and desire selfless servant leadership - a commitment to far more than just self.

Unfortunately, in my coaching and consulting practice I find far too many of my clients expressing a similar degree of dismay and frustration with their experience of leadership. This sense of despair is  heightened by the hope and optimism that many of us hold particularly as we enter a new organization.  We believe we have done our due diligence, we have assessed the written values as espoused by the organization, we have been reassured by our first interactions with our new organization as we go through the recruitment process.  We have been "sold" and we are excited by the potential and promise that we believe lies before us.

There are so many aspects of this "feeling" to unpack.  What I hear in these conversations touches on issues of hope/despair, voice, identity and the strength of conviction required to carry on.  Over time I've really come to appreciate the strong connection between voice and identity.  And perhaps in relation to the current topic, appreciating how the lack of voice - perceived or real - actually leads to a diminishment of identity and an erosion of self-esteem and self-confidence.  Voice - the ability to speak AND to be heard - seems to me to be absolutely crucial for personal self-actualization and fulfillment. Voice is crucial in helping someone define and express who they think they are and who they aspire to be.  The ability to speak, to share, to figure out is ultimately core to helping us discover, build and sustain who we are.

Maybe the whole preceding paragraph explains, in part, the efficacy of coaching (and therapy?).  Fundamentally, we all want to be seen, heard and understood.  And if our leaders, colleagues and organizational culture don't provide that opportunity then coaching (therapy?) provides a critical, and hopefully constructive, outlet.

The reality is that we enter into these organizational "relationships" with so much hope, optimism and excitement for what we believe the future holds for us.  If the reality doesn't live up to our expectations or if the promise fades we begin to despair.  We lose hope.  Trust is eroded.  We can feel duped and may even castigate ourselves for our naivety.  We can feel betrayed.

I believe that the issue goes even deeper than just a sense of misplaced optimism or lost hope.  That's certainly a bit of a flavor I got from the conversation with my colleague.  I sensed something deeper than disappointment.  It almost could be called a depressive episode.  This is not just about "losing a battle" but rather a profound realization that all of the strength, efforts, values and beliefs they have brought to the table - all those things that gave them voice and identity - have betrayed them. The despair comes not just from one "lost battle" but something even more stark.  It's not just immediate failure eating at the soul.  It's actually that all that was believed in about what makes for great leadership, a great working environment could be fundamentally wrong at its core.  

So given this potentially profound rethink what is the path forward?  Give up and knuckle under?  Rage against the "machine"? Leave and move on to the next opportunity? These are indeed the hard choices and the dilemma faced by my colleague, others and myself in the past.  Fighting the good fight, labouring under false assumptions, striving for what seems right and potentially even sacrificing - including job loss - for the "cause".  Perhaps these are the reasons that people recoil from taking on the great challenges and opportunities that are always available to them.  Perhaps that is why they just submit.  It's easier but perhaps no less painful.

The way forward?  For me it comes down to a personal and in-depth examination or reaffirmation of one's core values and ownership of one's individual strengths.  I still operate with a sense of optimism (or masochism if you prefer) about what is right and just regardless of degree or number of setbacks.  I know and believe there is "better" out there.  You can choose better.  You can choose a different battlefield upon which to ply your skills and where your gifts and values will be appreciated. But you can only do that if you know who you are and own your abilities.  And you have to have the courage and determination to see the journey through.  And part of that may require you to not self-isolate.  There are like-minded people out there who believe as you do.  Seek out allies and supports.  Maybe even engage an executive coach to help you chart a better path forward.

Nothing great ever came without great sacrifice. That's what true leadership calls from each of us.  We don't have to settle.  Find your voice.  Reinforce your identity.  Own your potential.

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Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.