Mentorship - Your Leadership Imperative?

Mentor - A wise and trusted counselor; a teacher; an adviser; a master; a guide. 

As I contemplated this blog entry, these were some of the terms that popped up.  There were certainly some images that came to my mind as well.  Some of those images relate to personal experiences in my career and people who I knew then, or appreciate now, as being mentors to me.  There are also of course some more fantastical representations of mentors that my geek mentality can relate to. 

Like Yoda.

The image of Yoda being carried by Luke Skywalker definitely conveys particular aspects of mentorship.  Someone looking over your shoulder, acting as a guide, pushing you forward and beyond your self-imposed limits and limiting beliefs.  At times Yoda's perspective could be quite demanding - "No!  Try not. Do, or do not.  There is no try."  A seemingly harsh perspective, but this approach did move his mentee to a new level of performance. 

I've become much more interested in mentorship in the past couple of years as I've continued the transition out of a senior leadership position into the role of coach and management consultant.  Perhaps this should come as no surprise when one considers this is the biggest career transition I've made to date.  But there's more to the story.  The transition made me realize the lack of mentoring I had experienced over the last many years of my own executive career.  It's not that I was unaware of that lack of support.  I felt the absence of a mentor and took a conscious step to enlist one outside of my own organization.  However, it has only been as I've started a new phase of my life that I've more fully appreciated the value that a mentor can bring to my career and life - even for someone who has been in the working world for the past 30+ years.

Right now, I count myself particularly fortunate to have had two senior level professionals who have stepped up to the plate to guide me through this transition.  In both cases, there was no formal mentorship kick-off meeting, no mutually agreed-upon goal setting process, no established timeline or agreement on frequency of meetings.  I've known these senior level professionals for different periods of time - one for over 15 years, the other for only five.  They have very different backgrounds and experiences.  They are different in a multitude of ways. I don't believe they have ever met or even heard of each other.  They do, however, share at least one thing in common - they both appear to have an interest in my success and development.

So, I'm going to start at that point in describing what I think makes a successful mentoring relationship.  First, from my personal perspective, I really believe that it is my professional obligation to be a mentor to others.  But it's more than just meeting credentialing requirements for my professional associations that I'm talking about.  I believe that I have a personal and professional obligation to help others if I can.  And I believe that this is the same perspective that my two current mentors hold towards me.  They have a passion for advising, coaching and guiding others and they certainly don't do it because of a credentialing requirement, for any public accolades, nor for the money.  I believe this illustrates that a truly successful mentoring relationship comes from a personal investment in that relationship.  Sounds cliche, but I believe they care about my situation and my success.  Unfortunately,  I've seen too many other scenarios play out where the motivations, particularly on the part of the mentor, are less altruistic.  Ultimately, these relationships die off rather quickly with other obligations getting in the way of a mentor/mentee connection.  The outcome is a mentee feeling rather disillusioned by the experience and the mentor breathing a sigh of relief that this particular activity dropped off their already busy calendar.

First step then, make sure there is a commitment and interest on the part of both parties to mentorship.  Closely related to this factor is the requirement that there actually be some chemistry in the relationship.  It's not necessarily about liking one another - although that certainly helps - but you'll both probably know within a few encounters whether there is some type of connection or basis upon which to build a respectful and productive learning relationship.  Do you look forward with excitement or expectation about an upcoming opportunity to interact or do your feelings tend towards anxiety, trepidation and dread?  Listen to your gut on this and don't be afraid to pull the plug.  Hopefully that is a mutual conclusion you reach and if so I would suggest your next step as a mentor is to help your mentee find a better fit with someone else.

As can be seen from my example, mentorship also does not need to be, nor should it be, an exclusive one-on-one scenario.  In fact, it's unrealistic to expect that one mentor will have all the "answers" and there is going to be far more benefit to a mentee in seeking and cultivating a network of mentors.  A mentor must also recognize their own limitations.  As a mentor you won't have all the answers.  You don't need to.  You're not omnipotent.  That should take some of the pressure off.  It's not that you can't still be of assistance to the mentee, but that assistance might now come from helping them to connect with others in your network who might be more able to address a particular situation or circumstance. 

Don't be surprised as well by the two-way flow of mentorship.  Typically, the more senior or experienced individual is giving the more junior or inexperienced individual the benefit of their knowledge.  But I've rarely experienced a situation where I haven't also received some "insight" from my mentee.  Each of us has life and career experiences that are relatively unique and can be used to inform and educate others.  In addition, mentees often have a way of posing questions and challenging established conventions that we seasoned professionals no longer have the freshness to see.

I believe a successful mentorship relationship does not have to be an onerous, calendar-driven obligation.  I have started more than a few of my roles as mentor in that way as part of formal mentoring programs - complete and review profiles, have written objectives for the mentoring opportunity, set up regular meetings, and so forth.  However, I've been able to sustain (and build new) relationships on a much more informal basis beyond the initial formal framework.  In fact, that's what I think has made them successful and sustainable.  It still requires commitment which comes in the form of being available when called upon.  And that doesn't mean having a formal meeting in the mentor's office - for me it's been as simple as a phone call, an e-mail or a conversation over a cup of coffee.  In this way I believe I've been able to successfully maintain a number of mentoring relationships - about a dozen on the go right now.  The intensity of each mentoring relationship is different.  Some connections happen on a regular basis - every 2 to 4 weeks - while others have become annual events.  But all of mentees still feel comfortable touching base when the need is there.

A good mentor also just doesn't wait for a call or an e-mail from a mentee to become or remain engaged.  Rather, they have developed an understanding of their colleague, their goals and objectives, their strengths, and the areas in which they can benefit from further learning opportunities.  Again, this is because a good mentor is invested in their mentee.  And rather than waiting for that next call, a good mentor is scanning the environment for opportunities that will support the mentee's development.

It really does bring us back to the image of Yoda and Luke Skywalker.  Ultimately Yoda and Luke succeed together in their mutual endeavor.  That success comes from time spent together, undertaking difficult tasks, developing trust in each other, coming to understand that together they could do great things, and a willingness to take that leap of faith and being willing to learn.  There needs to be that same joint commitment in a mentoring relationship, one that not only develops the leadership potential of the mentee but hones the leadership skill of the mentor. 

After all, it is all about leadership.

_________________________________________________________

Greg Hadubiak, MHSA, FACHE, CEC, PCC

President & Founder - BreakPoint Solutions

gregh@breakpoint.solutions 

www.breakpoint.solutions 

780-250-2543

Helping leaders realize their strengths and enabling organizations to achieve their potential through the application of my leadership experience and coaching skills. I act as a point of leverage for my clients. I AM their Force Multiplier.